


Darkness

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-07
Updated: 2012-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-18 04:05:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark loses his sight and this is the story of how Steve Rogers helps him find it again. SAD. Stony. Superhusbands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness

Tony had always liked the feel of Steve touching him, nothing sexual, although he liked that too, but more casual touches. He liked it when Steve held his hand loosely while they were watching a film on a quiet night in or possessively while they were out and being mobbed by paparazzi. He liked it when Steve brushed past him, not even meaning to touch him. He liked it when Steve brushed his thumb tenderly against Tony's cheek to wipe away his tears before they made their tracks all the way down his face. He liked it when their hands collided early morning, both groggily reaching for the milk sitting on the table to pour onto their cereal. He liked it all.

Now he found himself in a situation where he was changed by and altogether different hand. It wasn't physical, but it was still there all the same. It may not have been real but it still touched his life. And when that hand that was there, but wasn't, left Tony's shoulder it took his sight with it. None of the doctors were sure what had caused it but something that they all agreed on was that his sight wasn't coming back. Steve was touching him when he got the news, sitting next to him in the Doctor's office, holding tightly onto his hand. Tony liked that. It stopped him slipping off into the impenetrable blackness that was all he could see; that was all he would ever see. He had to feel Steve, for he knew that he would never see him again.

When they got home Steve helped him get to the couch and sit down. He had to, Tony insisted that he was fine but even the genius knew that was an awful lie; when he wasn't helped he mostly missed what he was aiming for, sitting down on the floor when aiming for a chair, walking into the wall next to the door he was trying to pass through. Some days he found this funny, but other days he didn't even want to try. So he stayed in bed, with his eyes closed, because then he could fool himself that the darkness was self inflicted and even natural, calling for Dummy to bring him the cheapest liquor he could find and proceeding to drink himself into a stupor. But even on Tony's darkest days uncontrollable, silent sobs would rack his frame whenever Steve had to leave him. So Steve didn't. Tony never knew, when Steve left, if he would ever come back.

Steve called in sick to S.H.I.E.L.D. every day, he was fooling no one and he knew it but that didn't mean that it made it any easier each morning when he still had to lie and say that he was feeling a little 'under the weather'. Somehow there was always food in the fridge; he didn't know how it got there, he didn't ask, but he was grateful to whoever filled it every few days. He didn't know what Tony would be like if he had to go out for hours to food shop.

It wasn't until a month after the test results came through that Tony tried to return to something resembling the once great Mr. Stark. He knew he was the same man. But he didn't feel it. He felt...less some how. Tony started doing some designs on a tablet with Steve and JARVIS guiding him before he remembered that whatever he created in his mind would still never be made by his own hands. He would never be able to use his lab again. Soldering was enough of a bitch when he could see what he was doing. There was no way JARVIS would even let him near his lab now, not without alerting Steve or Pepper.

After a few hours he quit. He hadn't got far. Steve had persuaded him, first to continue longer than he would have and then, when he stopped, not to return to bed and not to start drinking. He pulled Tony between his legs; his back to the super soldier's chest. They sat like that with Steve's arms around Tony's waist not aware of time passing. Tony was the first to speak, haltingly, surprising Steve.

"Ummm, Steve?"  
"Mmmm?"

Tony cleared his throat, clearly unsure of how to phrase whatever was on his mind "There was this paper that I was reading. Y'know. Before. It was really great, but I, uh never got to finishing it." Here he paused for a moment and Steve could see the back of his neck colouring "I left it around here somewhere, could ummm, could..."

"You want me to finish reading it to you?" questioned Steve, taken aback. He would love to do this for his partner, but equally he knew that Tony was a proud man who didn't like to accept help from anyone, especially not him.

"If, if you don't mind" muttered Tony, now regretting ever asking "you know what?" Tony started, mistaking Steve's stunned silence for pity or disgust "Forget I ever said that, I get it; you have other things. It's fine, I" it was at this point that Steve cut him off, hugging him even more tightly to his muscular chest.

"Tony, stop. I would love to read it to you. I might even learn something" he tried to joke "what was it called?"

"Uh, JARVIS knows the one" said Tony meekly. As soon as he was able he was getting back to the lab, he was sure Bruce or Dummy would help him with the fiddly things. It was only now, ironically, that he saw how much he could help people. Come up with some decent voice synthesis software, mini JARVIS type AIs to help people navigate their houses. But for now he let himself sink into Steve's voice. For now that was all he could have of him, if he could not see his husband's face, he could at least value his voice.

Tony soon got into the swing of things, once Bruce had pointed out how much it was hurting Steve to see Tony slowly destroying himself by no longer caring. After that Tony never had another day where he lay in bed until he passed out drunk.

He was making huge progress at things, and had developed a new function for JARVIS who was now able to sense when Tony was walking without assistance and would guide Tony around obstacles in his path. Tony was eve learning a bit of Braille, but only half-heartedly, as he saw no need after Steve had confessed to him that he actually loved reading to him, even if he understood none of it. Tony loved that he read to him regardless, and secretly thought that although science had always been great it sounded even better coming from Steve's mouth.

The only trouble Tony was still having was when he encountered new things. He had a hard time accepting that he would never truly know what they looked like.

One day when a new piece of Stark tech came in, some phone that hadn't been designed by him but had been getting a lot of praise a the Tower, Tony had sat with it in his hands and the breakfast bar feeling it, and if trying to see the phone with his hands, 'which' Tony thought 'was all very well, but it doesn't really work. All phones feel like cold rectangles.'

Tony realistically knew that it was just a phone, but it was the principle. He didn't know what this phone looked like but that was just the tipping weight on the scales. It had really been last week when he had got wind of a new S.H.I.E.L.D. recruit. He was rumoured to be in talks with Fury about filling Tony's slot on the Avengers. He had been big news for a few weeks, recent enough though that Tony had never got to see him before he lost his sight. Tony wasn't upset or angry about that. He was pragmatic. He was obviously unable to keep his position, and someone had to fill it. The new guy was called Spider-man and Steve was very fond of him, said that he was a good kid. That was good enough for Tony; if Steve liked him, then he was a nice guy. The problem came when Tony was going through his file.

Six foot. Fine.  
brown hair. Fine.  
Brown eyes. Fine.  
No distinguishing physical factors.

And that was it. That was all he could get on his replacement. He would never know what he looked like. Not in his whole life. And that was what had upset Tony.

Steve came home to find Tony in a better state every day than he had been in the day before. He was amazed at how quickly Tony had taken this all in. 'Although', he thought with a chuckle 'Tony does not rank on the genius spectrum for nothing. So it was a surprise to come home from headquarters one day to see Tony staring into space. Doing nothing. Tony was never doing nothing. He wasn't talking either, and Tony was always talking when Steve came home asking how had his day been, telling him what he had done, who had come to visit, asking what was for dinner. So this silence scared Steve a little. He cautiously walked over to the sofa, carefully making more noise than usual, as he knew that although Tony was staring straight at him to Tony it was like staring into a black hole. He sat down next to Tony on the couch and pulled his body into his own, his arms encircling his mute husband.

There was silence for a long time before Tony muttered into Steve's chest "What does he look like Steve?"

"What?" asked Steve thoroughly confused, "Who?"

"Spider-man" Tony slurred quietly into Steve's shoulder, through the tears building in his dead eyes.

"Oh, Tony. What can I say? He's tall. Between you and me. He still a kid so he's wiry. Gangly; he doesn't know what to do with his limbs. His hair is brown and ridiculously puffy..." Steve trailed off, knowing that this wasn't helping.

He pushed Tony's head off of his shoulder "Turn around" He gently told his husband, Tony complying and turning his back to Steve. Steve delicately held Tony's arms up so that he could get his t-shirt up and over his head. Pressing a kiss to the back of Tony's neck he began describing Peter Parker in the only way he knew how. Starting with the face shape the then moved onto the eyes. Sketching with his finger across the whole of Tony's broad freckled back. Gliding up to trace his hair he tried to show the wildness to it and saying to the quiet man over his drooped shoulder "It's the colour of winter mud."

He continued down to mouth and finished on nose and chin.

After that he pulled Tony's shirt back over his head, to stop him getting cold, and turned him back round to face him. The tears that had been threatening to fall had now truly burst their banks. Tony's lifeless eyes still searched for Steve's face, his hand coming up to find it. When he did he brought it close and pressed a soft kiss to his partner's lips.

"Thank you"

Tony had always loved the feel of Steve touching him, but now there was a new layer to it. Now it brought the sight back into his life.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Sorry for the sadness. I hoped that you liked this story, but as always; I own nothing.


End file.
